inwtblh. e.

Back in the USSR

Hello there,

So it’s been a while, as per usual. But figured I should update.

I’ve been back in America for about four and a half weeks so far, and it already feels like I never left. It’s amazing how quickly we internalize so much of culture. Mostly, my time in the Arab World feels like a strange dream at this point. I guess it was sort of necessary for me to come back and appreciate certain things about where I’m from…like nicer bathrooms, knowing how to navigate through the social system, speak the language…being able to chose my own food is a huge plus (although that wasn’t such a problem in Jordan/Lebanon….I miss za’ater and kibbeh). I like being around people I’m comfortable with, and I think Xenia has been extremely helpful in reintegrating me into American college life. It’s nice to spend a low-key day studying Arabic, hanging out and watching movie-films in Xenia.

Being pensive about the experience is hard. Because I guess the first thought is that “The Middle East” is one giant experience that can be analyzed singularly, where in fact it can only really be tackled on a case-by-case basis. It’s slow going, and I don’t think it’s going to get any easier…I thought that, when leaving Egypt, I had figured out a lot of things about myself as an Arab-American (feel free to roll your eyes around now). Then I went to Lebanon, and it immediately got much, much more complicated. So I’m trying to decide what I think about things. Especially after that ridiculously crazy conversation I had with my cousin (who is like, 45) Hussein about my religion and identity and all that stuff. Really fun – except not really.

The weather has been a nice change from Middle East blegh, and J-term has provided a lot of time for spacing out, which I should be using to engage weird questions and look for summer work. Motivation, since returning from the Middle East, is hard in the relearning – which is why my class project is coming around at a snail’s pace.

Let’s see…Middlebury things: course books are up, grades are up from Egypt (I’m happy about that), and housing is finally dealt with. The many personalities of campus are nice to see again after so long a hiatus. In addition to summer work, I have to hunt for a job for now, seeing as I’m currently earning nothing (which makes me very uneasy).

I’m looking towards Spring semester apprehensively. I need something to keep myself occupied, but I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to return to the workworkwork of Middlebury if I’m feeling so out of it right now. Really, I need a new operating system.

We’ll see how that turns out.